7-24-2020

Mary’s Minute

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

                                                                                         Dalai Lama

Sometimes I think it is just a “Mom thing,” but I am pretty sure it is more than that.  Making other people happy, makes us happy.  As parents, we practice compassion for our children and in doing so we make them happy, but nothing makes us happier than to see our children happy.

It goes far beyond parenting; it is about being human.  On the surface being good to others – being compassionate -- sounds like work we do FOR others.  The best way to be truly happy is to practice compassion.  It is such a neat thing.  That we can be happy by making others happy.  It is a simple equation that seems so elusive. 

People spend their lives searching for true happiness, when in reality it is always right in front of us.  Happiness comes from serving others. 

This is an incredibly difficult time for teachers, but their joy comes from the compassion they show to their students. 

As tough as times are it is pretty cool to know that the same thing that makes others happy, brings us happiness – showing compassion.

                                                                  Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

7-17-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots.”

                              ~ Victor Hugo

When I was very young I remember the nickname given to a politician – I think he was a Congressman from Lake County, Indiana, which is where I lived growing up.  I don’t recall his last name, but I remember his nickname:  Flip Flop Floyd.  His critics suggested that he frequently changed his mind or his vote. 

Integrity is certainly one thing, but changing our mind is something different.  If we make a commitment to behave in a certain way that is one thing, but I am talking about changing our opinion.  If we are constantly examining new data and thinking, it only makes sense that we would change our minds or our opinions.  That is the nature of human growth.  It is how we improve ourselves and our society. 

I think about the mask debate.  Early in the pandemic, “experts” were advising us that masks were not necessary, but with more data and thought, the opinion changed.  As Hugo suggests, the scientist held true to their principles, but they changed their opinion, which is not only acceptable, but encouraged.  We could remain stuck in old facts that were later proven wrong, or we can embrace change of thought and improve.

We need to keep our minds open to change, while holding true to our core values. 

I honestly do not know if Floyd was a man of value, but looking back I have to wonder if he was mislabeled.  Did he change his values or just gain knowledge that allowed him to change his mind?  All I know is that my goal is to stay true to my values, but constantly be willing to change my opinion!

                              Have a great week!

                                    Mary

7-10-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was sitting at my desk after what felt like a pretty tough day, when Tommy, our custodian supervisor, stopped at my door and said, “Are you okay?”  He wasn’t just meaning in the moment, although I suspect I looked pretty frazzled, he meant it as an offer to help, an offer of encouragement.  It was encouragement that inspired me, although in the moment I nearly just broke down in tears from the shear act of kindness and relief it brought. 

In a similar way, I was inspired by our bus drivers, who while facing a tremendous challenge of transporting students under restrictions created by COVID, encouraged me and offered to help in any way they could. I am inspired by the kind parents and teachers who have encouraged me.

Ralph Waldo Emerson sums it up – we need to be inspired to be who we know we can be.  We all have moments when we are feeling less than inspired, but encouragement from others takes us to the next level where we feel we can do more and be more – to the level of being what we know we can be!

I am so incredibly grateful for the people who lift me up through kindness and encouragement, and their kindness inspires me to be a source of love and light for others.

Thank you for the inspiration!

                                                                                                Mary

7-3-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.”

~ C. S. Lewis

In today’s world of social media, it is fairly easy to do good things for an audience, but true integrity comes from doing something good when no one is watching.  Sometimes letting others know that we understand what is right and just is an important powerful message to share, but when we can do the right thing when no one is looking, our intent can never be questioned.  Showing others that we are caring people is a way to set a positive example and spread positivity, but I am most humbled by those who do acts of kindness that may never be recognized. 

Almost twenty-five years ago, my mother siblings, mother and I sat around my mom’s kitchen table recapping one of the most moving days of our lives: my dad’s funeral.  We all had noticed a person sitting in the back pew of church and were asking if anyone knew who he was.  He was a young man, who was nicely dressed, but had that look that made you know that dressing up was not in his comfort zone. 

We all knew that my dad frequently helped those less fortunate.  He was an elementary principal when I was young, and I remember him bringing children home to stay with us – yes, I know these were different times.  He helped people in non-traditional ways, seeing the best in those who were struggling. 

None of us knew the young man, sitting in the back row at my dad’s funeral, but we concluded it was someone who was touched by my dad’s kindness enough that he left his comfort zone by sitting through a Catholic funeral to say his good byes.  It is an image I like to recall as a reminder to do the right thing even if it may never be recognized.  

                                                                                Have a great week!

                                                                                                Mary

6-26-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Do the best you can until you know better.  Then when you know better, do better.”

~ Maya Angelou

Whether in our thoughts or actions we strive to do our best, but Maya Angelou reminds us that even best is a relative term.   

In education we sometimes face parents who question educational changes, by saying, “If it was good enough for me, it is good enough for my kids.”  Fortunately, in education, like all fields, we continue to learn so that educational opportunities for each generation are better than the one before.

A few centuries ago there were credible doctors who mocked the idea of ​​invisible germs floating in the air, with sterile surgery being just a little over 150 years old.  The advances in cancer treatment are remarkable, and we are grateful for the changes.  In 1970 when we lost my aunt to breast cancer, her family and the doctors were doing their very best to save the young mother, but they couldn’t.  Today I am confident her prognosis would be different.  Today we know better, so we do better.

When we think that today is just the five-year anniversary of gay marriage being legal in the United States we may be a bit sad that it took so long, but thankfully now we know better so we can do better.

We can be sad about our country’s past.  I see the good in people, so even people who looking back were doing horrible things, like slave owners, were in many cases doing the best they could.  But today we know better – we know much better, so we can do better.

At every point in our lives and in the history of our country we must strive to do our very best, but the good thing is that our best will not stay the best for long because when we know better, we can do better!

                                                     Let’s do better!

                                                                                   Mary

6-19-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Live one day at a time emphasizing ethics rather than rules.”                         ~ Wayne Dyer

Last week my kids, their significant others, and I had a wonderful (social distancing) get-away to the Colorado mountains, and as we planned the trip we laughed that the trip had no rules -- like their upbringing.  We simply had a shared sense of the focus of the trip and a shared culture of caring.  As Jess, Zoe, and Bill were growing up, we often said that in our family we only had one rule – Love one another.  My belief was that if we loved one another, we would do the right things as a family.  There was no need to assign chores because you do household jobs to help the family.  Cleaning up after yourself, not fighting, coming home at a reasonable hour, etc. were all a natural extension of “loving one another.” 

When a group of people (like a family) have a shared set of ethics, rules are not necessary.  I am grateful that my children share my sense of family that allowed “love one another” to guide us. 

Sadly, I know this is not always the case, and it is a tricky chicken/egg situation.  Dyer suggests that we live one day at a time, focusing on ethics, not rules,  but when not all people are ethical, rules are necessary, but where do we put our emphasis – on creating the rules or on creating a shared set of beliefs?  The answer is not simple.  In the end we want to focus on ethics, doing the right thing because it is the right thing!  Until we get there, we need rules to help guide people to do what is right and just. 

                                 Love one another!

                                               Mary

6-5-2020

Mary’s Minute

“We can learn to see each other and see ourselves in each other and recognize that human beings are more alike than we are unalike.”

                                                            ~ Maya Angelou

The last thing I want to do is over-simplify or discount the genuine issues that our country is experiencing. I never feel like I have the right words, and I worry more about saying the wrong thing, so I often say nothing.  I can’t say nothing, so forgive me if I do not have the right words. 

I started my career as a kindergarten teacher, and I often am drawn to the words of Robert Fulghum who said, “All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.”  Likewise, I believe the words of Maya Angelou help keep us grounded, knowing that as human beings we are more alike than we are different. 

Recognizing the simplicity of treating people the way we want to be treated and realizing that we are more alike than different, does not erase systemic racism, but it is the best start I know to genuine change. 

At the most basic level it is about what “loving one another.”  I wish I had a detailed plan for bringing our divided country together.  All I know is that we are all humans with love in our hearts.  I believe that if we can truly give and accept the love that is shared among humans, who are more alike than different, we can heal and thrive as a society.

                                                                     I wish you well!

                                                                                 Mary