Mary’s Minute
“Live one day at a time
emphasizing ethics rather than rules.”
~ Wayne Dyer
Last week my kids, their
significant others, and I had a wonderful (social distancing) get-away to the Colorado
mountains, and as we planned the trip we laughed that the trip had no rules --
like their upbringing. We simply had a
shared sense of the focus of the trip and a shared culture of caring. As Jess, Zoe, and Bill were growing up, we
often said that in our family we only had one rule – Love one another. My belief was that if we loved one another,
we would do the right things as a family.
There was no need to assign chores because you do household jobs to help
the family. Cleaning up after yourself,
not fighting, coming home at a reasonable hour, etc. were all a natural
extension of “loving one another.”
When a group of people
(like a family) have a shared set of ethics, rules are not necessary. I am grateful that my children share my sense
of family that allowed “love one another” to guide us.
Sadly, I know this is not always
the case, and it is a tricky chicken/egg situation. Dyer suggests that we live one day at a time,
focusing on ethics, not rules, but when
not all people are ethical, rules are necessary, but where do we put our emphasis
– on creating the rules or on creating a shared set of beliefs? The answer is not simple. In the end we want to focus on ethics, doing
the right thing because it is the right thing!
Until we get there, we need rules to help guide people to do what is right
and just.
Love one another!
Mary
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