12-20-2019

Mary’s Minute

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

~ Winnie the Pooh/A.A. Milne

Not to sound like a country music song, but as I think about the passing of time, I have to say, “Don’t blink!”  It feels like just yesterday I was a twenty-one old kindergarten teacher, wearing argyle socks and jumpers, singing loudly in the open-concept wing with my bright eyed students, and the next minute I am fighting tears away as I pack up my office where I have had the privilege of serving as superintendent for seventeen years.  My heart is full of gratitude for all the people I have been so lucky to work with, for all the kindness shown to me and my family, and for being able to make a living doing what I love!  

As I close this chapter of my life, I want to think of it as a series of wonderful memories, more than of the passing of time.  Memories and feelings for which I am forever grateful.  I love the Maya Angelou quote, “People will forget what you said.  People will forget what you did.  But people will never forget how you made them feel.”  Of course I will remember with gratitude many things that people have said and done for me, but most of all I will remember the way Perry Central has made me feel.  

I started writing Mary’s Minute when I became superintendent in 2002, and I have written it every Friday that school was in session since then.  This is the last I will write as superintendent.  (I am thinking of trying to keep it up as a way to continue writing and pushing myself.)  Although I will not be officially connected to Perry Central, I will always be connected at the heart.  I feel so very lucky that saying goodbye is so hard!  I love you all!

                                                                                    Mary

12-13-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Getting even has never healed a single person.”  

                                                                                        ~ Eva Kor 

Fifty years after she was liberated from Auschitz, Eva Kor stood on the platform at the same location and pledged her personal forgiveness to the Nazis and Dr. Mengele for the atrocities to her and her family.  From that point until her recent death Eva Kor spread a message of the power of forgiveness, in addition to remembering the holocaust, and she felt that the act of forgiveness changed her life.

As I listened to Eva’s thoughts on forgiveness that continue to be shared through a foundation created in her name, I remembered something I recently thought.  I said, “People who forget, but do not forgive are bitter.  People who forgive, but do not forgive are at peace.  People who forgive and forget are happy.”  I think my notion may need some work because Eva Kor emphasizes the need to forgive, but not to forget.  My idea was that people who forgive and forget live in a zone of ignorant bliss.  

I think I live my life basically at peace.  I forgive, but I can’t forget.  I really was thinking that if I could both forgive and forget, I could be happier.  I now believe that being at peace -- forgiving, but never forgetting is the surest way to peace, even if there is still some pain.  

This may all sound confusing, but I encourage you to think of an experience or person that has brought you pain.  Then think of forgiveness, as well as the power to totally forget it ever happened.  I think sometimes forgiving and forgetting is the easy answer to finding happiness.  The path to learning and true peace, though, can come from forgiveness, while holding onto the memory. 

                                                                        Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

12-6-2019

Mary’s Minute

"All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school."

~ Robert Fulghum

Many of you know, I started my career as a kindergarten teacher and spent several years also teaching preschool. In fact, there are a few teachers at PC who were in my kindergarten or preschool classes. In my mind I go back often to my time with young children, recognizing how much we can learn from our youngest students. Robert Fulghum wrote a cute piece about this idea. Some of the things Fulghum suggests we can learn from kindergarten include: “Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.”

There is an innocence that young children have that we all wish we could hold. Young children find joy in the smallest things and have a natural sense of curiosity that leads them to constant learning. Children skip! Think about this — how often do we as adults have so much physical joy that it comes out as skipping? Young children smile, laugh, and hug freely. Young children dance when they hear music, giggle uncontrollably, and notice small changes.

We know that smiling and laughing are important for mental health. We know that to be physically healthy movement can be a game changer. We use the term “childish” as a negative adjective, but in reality being child-like is what we all should hope to be. Whatever we call it, the older I get the more I realize the importance of emulating children in their joy for life and constant curiosity! And... skipping! Don’t forget to skip!

Have a great week!

Mary

11-22-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

                                                                                ~ William Arthur Ward

What if there was a magic pill that could make every day feel like Thanksgiving, our jobs always make us happy, and turn ordinary things into extraordinary?  Like every diet pill I have ever tried, it sounds too good to be true, but gratitude is that silver bullet.  

Committing ourselves to a life filled with gratitude is truly a way to a happier life.  Research shows that we cannot process negativity and gratitude at the same time in our brain, so if we are actively practicing gratitude, we cannot be negative.  Research also shows that people who express their gratitude to others are happier – and not just in the moment, but the happiness lingers for days.

As we approach Thanksgiving – a holiday that many of us say is our favorite – our hearts are focused on gratitude.  I think that what most of us like about Thanksgiving is the simplicity of the holiday.  The focus is on family, food, and gratitude.  So what if our goal was to keep life that simple – to focus on gratitude (and of course family and good food!)?

Making every day Thanksgiving, sans the turkey, is a way to live happier lives.  We truly can transform our lives through the simple act of gratitude!  By the way, I am grateful for all of you!

                                                            Happy Thanksgiving Week!

                                                                        Mary

11-15-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Remember, teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability." --Patrick Lencioni

I do not take it for granted that I have been part of an incredible team at Perry Central over the years.  And when I say team, I really mean multiple teams.  I feel like I am part of the overall Perry Central team that encompasses the entire school community working together for our students.  I am proud to be part of the team with our supportive school board. 

The team I probably work most closely is our administrative team.  We solve problems together, we laugh together, we work hard together, and we make mistakes together.  I think part of being a team member is always assuming that your partners have the best intentions.  Today one of the administrators said, “I hope I didn’t step on your toes.”  I replied, “When we are all dancing the same dance, we can’t step on each other’s toes.” When we work with the same goal in mind, come at situations with the same set of values, and trust each other, we don’t get upset with each other when mistakes are made.  

I believe that part of a winning team is believing that every member is doing his/her best and has good intentions!  I make mistakes often, but my hope is that my team members know that I mean well, and in my heart I am doing my best, so they can trust me.  Great team members trust each other.  I am proud to be part of a trusting PC team, dancing the same dance!

                                                                        Have a great week!

                                                                                                Mary       

11-8-2019

Mary’s Minute

“A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots.”                                                           

~ Marcus Garvey

I just returned from the annual meeting of the Southern Indiana Superintendents Club, a group that was founded in 1894.  Each year when I hear the history, I feel a deep connection to club members who came before me and gratitude to be part of the tradition. 

We all have groups to whom we feel connected.  Families, faith communities, sororities or fraternities, clubs, and universities are just a few of the groups that may stir a feeling of connection to the past and a pride in the future.  In fact, when we think about it we share a connection with all humans who came before us and those who will come after us.  It is an exciting and humbling feeling.

I have said before that I feel a keen sense of responsibility to the people at Perry Central who came before me.  I feel a need to work hard to keep the traditions of excellence alive, and I have a sense of obligation to the future, as well. 

The Southern Indiana Superintendents Club has met every year since it was founded in 1894, except for 1914 because of a flu epidemic and two years during World War II.  The group is dedicated to upholding high ideals of public education and committed to preserving the rich history.  I am proud to be part of the group because of the current members, but I am equally honored to share a connection with the past and to know that someday I will be part of the root system for those who carry on the tradition in years to come.

                                               

                                                                        Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

11-1-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”

                                                ~ John Green from A Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars is Zoe’s favorite book of all time.  It helped her through a tough time when she was diagnosed with lupus, which in many ways was a type of grief as she mourned the loss of a normal healthy life.  Lupus did not change Zoe, it exposed who she was.  

As I read this quote, I thought about the word “grief” and how other words could be substituted for it – both positive and negative.  Read the quote above, substituting any of the following words for grief:  hardship, illness, a joyful occasion, a new career, natural disaster, retirement, a tough class, a windfall, and the list goes on.  When things happen in our lives, we experience change, but the experience itself does not change us.  The experience reveals who we are at the core.  It points out whether we choose to embrace the new experience or fight it, whether we see the good or complain about the challenges, whether we make excuses or think of creative strategies. 

As we experience the ebb and flow of life – the changes both good and bad – we must remember that we are not changed, but exposed.  Whatever changes we are facing, we are showing who we really are in the way that we handle the change.

                                                                       Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

10-25-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Promise me you will not spend so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above the waves that you forget, truly forget, how much you have always loved to swim.” 

                                                                              —Tyler Knott Gregson

In life we are either truly living or we are just getting by.  When the sea of life hands us stormy waves, we are likely to just tread water.  In those moments we can forget the true joy of living – how much we love to swim!

In education we talk about remembering our why.  We are challenged to think about what motivated us to enter this profession in the beginning and what drives us to go on when times are tough.   Life can be challenging, and the life of an educator today can be very tumultuous.  Most teachers can conjure a positive image of helping children that propelled them into this profession.  Yet, when faced with the demands of mandates and students with challenges, that original why can be swept away and replaced with the need to simply get by.  It is in these times most of all that we need to remember how much we love to swim.  The joy of helping children -- the knowledge that you are making a difference -- needs to be more powerful than the urge to tread water.  

I know that sometimes we feel like all we can do is keep our head above water, but please, please, please never forget how much you love to swim!

Have a great week!

                                                                                                              Mary

10-11-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Perfection has to do with the end product, but excellence has to do with the process.”

                                                                         ~ Jerry Moran

The other day I heard a musician talking about recording a live album. I don’t even remember who it was, but I remember the message.  He was saying that in today’s world we have the capacity to edit out all of the imperfections to make even a live show “perfect” but to do so takes away the joy that comes with the process.  

Technology gives us the chance for many do-overs with the ability to edit and filter, but I think part of the danger with that is that we grow to expect perfection – with our eye only on the end product.  In doing so, our perception of reality can be warped and the joy of the process stripped away. When we focus on excellence we can focus on the process, and not as critical of ourselves. We can see that the doing is as important as the end, and joy is a natural by-product.

Education is tough, and it is even tougher when we expect perfection.  Be kind to yourself. Remember that excellence comes with the process.

                                                               

  Have a great break!

                                                                              Mary

10-4-2019

Mary’s Minute

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future."                                       

                                                                                 ~ Bernard Meltzer

We all know there is no way to change the past.  We can't unsay things or erase evil that has occurred in the past.  Although the past is behind us, we as individuals and as a society do have the power to change the future.  It is a simple notion, but world peace begins with forgiveness and kindness. 

I saw a powerful example of this on the national news.  The 18 year old brother of a victim who was killed expressed forgiveness and then asked the judge if he could hug the killer of his brother.  It is tough to imagine what we would do in a situation like this, but to see forgiveness at work was powerful for me.  Bitterness and hate will not bring back the victim, but forgiveness can provide healing for the victim’s family and a road to a better future for the convicted.  

Kindness and forgiveness can start a chain reaction that cuts across cultures, backgrounds, and even horrible acts, bringing us closer to peace.  It starts one person at a time. I refuse to give up on humans.  We have the capacity to spread love that can change the future!

                        Have a great week!

                                         Mary

9-27-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

                                                                        ~ Buddha

I love metaphors, and Buddha’s candle comparison to happiness is a great one.  Love, kindness, and happiness are qualities, not quantities.  They can be shared and not be depleted; in fact, sharing them often makes them grow stronger.  Parents who have multiple children, and in fact anyone (which means everyone) who loves more than one person, understands that loving one child does not make you love the others less. 

I remember my mom telling that when she and my dad were young parents with just my brother, Bernie, they didn’t think they should have other children because they didn’t think they could ever love another child as much as they loved him.  Thank goodness, they realized they could in fact love other children, as I was born 2 years after Bernie, and then 2 years later Sofie, and 8 years later, our precious, Amy.  We all found we had plenty of love for Amy! 

Taking Buddha’s analogy a step further, I like the idea of striving to be a beam of light that can shine forth with love, kindness, and happiness.  As we shine on others, our light is not depleted.  Pushing the comparison a bit further, as our light shines and reflects off of others, it creates a glow that is brighter than just our own light. 

I wish you the light of happiness, kindness, and love, and I urge you to let them shine on others!

                                                                        Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

9-20-2019

Mary’s Minute

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”

                                                                                                   ~ Colin Powell

It has been a bit of an emotional week for me as I left Bill 2,000 miles away in Palo Alto, California.  I admit I worry -- even though I know it won’t do any good.  

One thing I am not worried about is whether he can handle the work at Stanford.  I know from the experience of Perry Central kids that he is ready.  The data shows that our kids do really well in college and even more important than the numbers for me are the stories.  Just this year already, I have heard of multiple students who said their calculus class in college is easy because Bob Linne prepared them so well.  We hear this every year.  Bill will be in Calc III with students from all over the world, but I know that he is ready because of the preparation he had at a little country school in Southern Indiana.  Our teachers believe that our kids deserve the very best, and through that belief and their hard work, they have prepared our students to thrive at the best universities in the world.  

I went through some Kleenex this week, but I didn’t shed a tear worrying whether Bill can handle the rigor of Stanford.  Thanks to Perry Central teachers, he is prepared.  As an administrator and a parent, thank you, teachers!

                                                                   Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

9-13-2019

  Mary’s Minute

I often wonder how different the world could be if everyone just practiced kindness and respect at every level.  Could we rid the world of war and violence?  Could we create better learning environments?  Could workplaces be more productive?  I think the same can be related to sports. 

I am particularly proud of our Perry Central kids for practicing good sportsmanship.  This week our volleyball team was recognized by the IHSAA for practicing good sportsmanship, which was reported to the state by an official at the game.  I inquired what our girls did to earn this kind of recognition -- thinking maybe there was one big moment -- but what set them apart was their overall attitude of respect and kindness throughout the game. 

Members of our football team were recognized for practicing great sportsmanship.  Our teams have had some tough losses this fall, but I could not be more proud of our teams and our student cheering section for practicing in sports what we strive to practice in life -- treating everyone, even opponents, with kindness and respect.  

Kindness and respect are the ingredients for success in all elements of life, sports included!

             Have a great week!

                                                                                                Mary

9-6-2019

Mary’s Minute

“There are many little ways to enlarge your world.  Love of books is the best of all.”    

                                                                                     – Jacqueline Kennedy

I am excited that this week received my first staff book club book for the year.  Also this week, Mia Bishop finished a book she was reading in our office and said, “I finished my book, but I am sad it is over.”  Reading -- what a wonderful gift it is!  I have been writing in a gratitude journal, and I when I list things for which I am grateful I include reading (the ability to read, the love of reading, the power of reading -- the gift of reading!)  Reading informs, empowers, entertains, transports, and inspires.  

Admittedly, I go through spurts when I don’t read as much as I do at other times, but I always appreciate reading. 

I am doing a lot of reflecting on motherhood as I anticipate an empty nest.  As a parent, I have many faults, but one thing I got right was reading to my kids.  I think that for me the value of reading came from my childhood.  Productivity was important in the Bower home, but reading, although it could be considered recreation, was always thought of as a priority and a way to be “productive.”  

A priority of education is to teach children how to read, and equally important we want to inspire them to want to read.  They certainly go hand in hand.  Knowing how to read is the first step to love reading, but then again, maybe it is the other way around.  The best way to teach someone how to read is for them to begin with a desire.

Reading -- what a gift.  This weekend I have a long to-do list, but I am smiling broadly at the thought of making time to dig into my latest book! 

                                                                                          Have a great week!

                                                                                                                        Mary

8-30-2019

Mary’s Minute

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” 

                                                                ~ Buddha    

                                                

If you look in a thesaurus, joy is listed as a synonym for happy.  I think we spend a lot of time focused on happiness when our true quest is joy.  Striving for happiness -- even choosing happiness -- is a great goal.  Real joy is something deeper.  I believe that we can be happy without experiencing joy, and I think there are times that we feel joy in our souls, even if we are not happy in the moment.  I recently talked to someone who had lost a child, and what he expressed to me is that he didn’t feel like he could ever feel joy again.  He would find happiness in life, but true joy had been stripped from him.  I hope for his sake that he can find joy again, but it made me realize the difference.  

I believe we can find joy in many of the same ways we find happiness: by being grateful, through reflection, by surrounding ourselves with positive people and experiences, and by helping others.  I think finding joy takes more work than just finding happiness.  It requires deep appreciation and finding our purpose in life.  I think to really find joy we must see how we can make a difference to others. 

I wish you happiness, and most of all, I wish you joy! 

                                                                  Have a great long weekend!

                                                                                             Mary