1-31-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

~ Confucius 

Recently I was with a group at a restaurant that had a card set of “conversation starters” on the table.  I was stumped by the first prompt, “If you could have any job, what would it be?”  I really pondered the question. I pride myself in being creative and adventurous, but I really had to say that I would choose the job of school superintendent. I love the work I do:  being able to think creatively to solve problems, never having two days that are the same, working with people who care deeply about their profession, meeting new people, collaborating with community partners, and working for the most important product on earth (our youth).  

Life is so short, and we spend a large part of our life at our jobs, so the thought of having a job that is not fulfilling is sad. I know that not all people are lucky enough to love their work. Sometimes survival precludes fulfillment, but fortunately most of us have choices.  

Mike Rowe, who is well known for his television show Dirty Jobs, among others, doesn't completely agree.  He says, “Why worry about doing something you love? Figure out what the opportunity is. Find a thing, get good at it, learn to love it later.”  I understand the challenge we have as a society of preparing our students for the workforce and allowing them to make a good living.  I know the hard facts that too many students are pursuing four year degrees, accumulating debt only to take jobs that pay less than jobs requiring a different kind of training.  I agree with Mike Rowe that we need a shift, but I cannot give up on the idea to follow our passions, finding jobs we love!  

I do believe in balance and making smart choices.  I know my son Bill is just a freshman in college, but he sees this.  He loves writing and wrote a novel during his first quarter off at college, but he doesn't see himself pursuing writing as a career.  He says he will always love writing, but he thinks his career will fall around another of his passions, physics, while writing will be a hobby. 

Maybe I am enough of an optimist that I believe we can do both -- choose work we love, while at the same time pursuing the opportunities as Mr. Rowe points out.  I am thankful that for me it has worked out that way at least, and I wish that for all of you!

                                                                             Have a great week!

                                                                                         Mary

1-24-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Preach at all times and if necessary use words.”

                                                 ~ Francis of Assissi

I do love words!  I love to talk; I love to write, and I think that words are a powerful way to persuade. Perhaps you can imagine then how this quote stung!  For me the word “preach” was not interrupted in the religious sense that it may have been intended, but instead I thought of me talking to my children or co-workers. I thought about how I can use words too much. My son, Bill, reminds me of this when I have told him something for the third time, as he says, “I got it the first time.”  

More than the concern of repetition, Francis of Assisi reminds me that “preaching” or getting our point across should be done through our actions first. It is just the opposite of the somewhat humorous notion, “Do as I say, not as I do.”  

I want to use my words wisely — as necessary — striving to get my message across through modeling the life I want to lead.  Yikes!  It is a tall order, but I will try. 

                                                               Have a great week!

                                                                        Mary

1-17-2020

Mary’s Minute

“The desire for freedom and equilibrium (harmony) is inherent in man (due to the universal in him).”

                                                                 
                                              ~ Piet Mondrian

Admittedly, science is not my thing.  I am intrigued with people, words, and art.  Even with my limited ability/interest in science when I think of equilibrium I think of science and the physical properties equilibrium.  This is where my son, Bill, would tell me to just, “Stop!” because I don’t have the words to talk about these concepts, but I will keep babbling!  In chemistry when elements are combined, there is a need to equalize.  I think of the simple idea of working with plaster and how it dries out our hands – the need to equalize the moisture.  Even the physical property that spilled water pools in the lowest spot is a need for equilibrium.  Mondrian saw this in art. 

There is a basic desire for equilibrium, so it makes sense that change is hard.  In life we strive to get to a place of balance.  Yet, it seems like a paradox since change is the one constant in life.  We are constantly seeking a level of calm, yet life itself consists of cycles of constant chaos. 

I talk a lot about the power of change, and the need to embrace it.  But change is fighting against human nature … or is it?   What if the balance we are seeking is not about a daily routine or a level of prosperity?  What if the equilibrium we seek is something bigger? 

I want to try to think about my quest for equilibrium not as a need for doing things the same way, but a need for happiness that comes from harmony of being comfortable with the life I am leading.  In that way, change is natural, but I am still moving towards a state of equilibrium. 

Change doesn’t have to be unnatural, even though on the surface it seems like is.

                                                            Have a great week!

                                                                        Mary

MM 2.0 1-10-2020

Mary’s Minute

“A person is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”

                                                            ~ John Barrymore

I have had a wonderful couple weeks celebrating my career at Perry Central.  I am fortunate in so many ways!  I am grateful for the chance to do what I loved for 34 years and to work with the best people and community ever.  Now I am also grateful for a month to unplug and reflect before my next adventure.  I am thankful for a month that allows me to dream and not regret! 

I am excited about the next phase of my life that will lead me to a new home, a new community, and a new set of challenges.  I am thankful that the school community of Sheridan has welcomed me so warmly.  Starting over can be hard, but it also helps keep dreams alive and regrets at bay. 

Admittedly, as I watched the video that spanned my lifetime (Thank you, Tara Bishop, for the beautiful video tribute!), the word “old” was definitely on my mind. The high school photos, the young teacher in a romper, to the naïve 38 year old beginning superintendent certainly reminded me of younger days!  This quote was just what I needed to remind myself that life is full, and dreams abound! 

I have never been a person to believe in regrets.  It isn’t that I have not made mistakes, but I just believe that we are who are because of our collective experiences.  I am thankful for the mistakes because they have led me to where I am. 

No regrets – just so much gratitude and still many dreams!

By the way, this is my first post-Perry Central Mary’s Minute.  Mary’s Minute began when I became superintendent at P.C., but I have decided to continue the blog.  I want to write for me – as a way to keep writing, keep dreaming, and to continue to express my gratitude to the world!

                                                            Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

12-20-2019

Mary’s Minute

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

~ Winnie the Pooh/A.A. Milne

Not to sound like a country music song, but as I think about the passing of time, I have to say, “Don’t blink!”  It feels like just yesterday I was a twenty-one old kindergarten teacher, wearing argyle socks and jumpers, singing loudly in the open-concept wing with my bright eyed students, and the next minute I am fighting tears away as I pack up my office where I have had the privilege of serving as superintendent for seventeen years.  My heart is full of gratitude for all the people I have been so lucky to work with, for all the kindness shown to me and my family, and for being able to make a living doing what I love!  

As I close this chapter of my life, I want to think of it as a series of wonderful memories, more than of the passing of time.  Memories and feelings for which I am forever grateful.  I love the Maya Angelou quote, “People will forget what you said.  People will forget what you did.  But people will never forget how you made them feel.”  Of course I will remember with gratitude many things that people have said and done for me, but most of all I will remember the way Perry Central has made me feel.  

I started writing Mary’s Minute when I became superintendent in 2002, and I have written it every Friday that school was in session since then.  This is the last I will write as superintendent.  (I am thinking of trying to keep it up as a way to continue writing and pushing myself.)  Although I will not be officially connected to Perry Central, I will always be connected at the heart.  I feel so very lucky that saying goodbye is so hard!  I love you all!

                                                                                    Mary

12-13-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Getting even has never healed a single person.”  

                                                                                        ~ Eva Kor 

Fifty years after she was liberated from Auschitz, Eva Kor stood on the platform at the same location and pledged her personal forgiveness to the Nazis and Dr. Mengele for the atrocities to her and her family.  From that point until her recent death Eva Kor spread a message of the power of forgiveness, in addition to remembering the holocaust, and she felt that the act of forgiveness changed her life.

As I listened to Eva’s thoughts on forgiveness that continue to be shared through a foundation created in her name, I remembered something I recently thought.  I said, “People who forget, but do not forgive are bitter.  People who forgive, but do not forgive are at peace.  People who forgive and forget are happy.”  I think my notion may need some work because Eva Kor emphasizes the need to forgive, but not to forget.  My idea was that people who forgive and forget live in a zone of ignorant bliss.  

I think I live my life basically at peace.  I forgive, but I can’t forget.  I really was thinking that if I could both forgive and forget, I could be happier.  I now believe that being at peace -- forgiving, but never forgetting is the surest way to peace, even if there is still some pain.  

This may all sound confusing, but I encourage you to think of an experience or person that has brought you pain.  Then think of forgiveness, as well as the power to totally forget it ever happened.  I think sometimes forgiving and forgetting is the easy answer to finding happiness.  The path to learning and true peace, though, can come from forgiveness, while holding onto the memory. 

                                                                        Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

12-6-2019

Mary’s Minute

"All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school."

~ Robert Fulghum

Many of you know, I started my career as a kindergarten teacher and spent several years also teaching preschool. In fact, there are a few teachers at PC who were in my kindergarten or preschool classes. In my mind I go back often to my time with young children, recognizing how much we can learn from our youngest students. Robert Fulghum wrote a cute piece about this idea. Some of the things Fulghum suggests we can learn from kindergarten include: “Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.”

There is an innocence that young children have that we all wish we could hold. Young children find joy in the smallest things and have a natural sense of curiosity that leads them to constant learning. Children skip! Think about this — how often do we as adults have so much physical joy that it comes out as skipping? Young children smile, laugh, and hug freely. Young children dance when they hear music, giggle uncontrollably, and notice small changes.

We know that smiling and laughing are important for mental health. We know that to be physically healthy movement can be a game changer. We use the term “childish” as a negative adjective, but in reality being child-like is what we all should hope to be. Whatever we call it, the older I get the more I realize the importance of emulating children in their joy for life and constant curiosity! And... skipping! Don’t forget to skip!

Have a great week!

Mary