12-20-2019

Mary’s Minute

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

~ Winnie the Pooh/A.A. Milne

Not to sound like a country music song, but as I think about the passing of time, I have to say, “Don’t blink!”  It feels like just yesterday I was a twenty-one old kindergarten teacher, wearing argyle socks and jumpers, singing loudly in the open-concept wing with my bright eyed students, and the next minute I am fighting tears away as I pack up my office where I have had the privilege of serving as superintendent for seventeen years.  My heart is full of gratitude for all the people I have been so lucky to work with, for all the kindness shown to me and my family, and for being able to make a living doing what I love!  

As I close this chapter of my life, I want to think of it as a series of wonderful memories, more than of the passing of time.  Memories and feelings for which I am forever grateful.  I love the Maya Angelou quote, “People will forget what you said.  People will forget what you did.  But people will never forget how you made them feel.”  Of course I will remember with gratitude many things that people have said and done for me, but most of all I will remember the way Perry Central has made me feel.  

I started writing Mary’s Minute when I became superintendent in 2002, and I have written it every Friday that school was in session since then.  This is the last I will write as superintendent.  (I am thinking of trying to keep it up as a way to continue writing and pushing myself.)  Although I will not be officially connected to Perry Central, I will always be connected at the heart.  I feel so very lucky that saying goodbye is so hard!  I love you all!

                                                                                    Mary

12-13-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Getting even has never healed a single person.”  

                                                                                        ~ Eva Kor 

Fifty years after she was liberated from Auschitz, Eva Kor stood on the platform at the same location and pledged her personal forgiveness to the Nazis and Dr. Mengele for the atrocities to her and her family.  From that point until her recent death Eva Kor spread a message of the power of forgiveness, in addition to remembering the holocaust, and she felt that the act of forgiveness changed her life.

As I listened to Eva’s thoughts on forgiveness that continue to be shared through a foundation created in her name, I remembered something I recently thought.  I said, “People who forget, but do not forgive are bitter.  People who forgive, but do not forgive are at peace.  People who forgive and forget are happy.”  I think my notion may need some work because Eva Kor emphasizes the need to forgive, but not to forget.  My idea was that people who forgive and forget live in a zone of ignorant bliss.  

I think I live my life basically at peace.  I forgive, but I can’t forget.  I really was thinking that if I could both forgive and forget, I could be happier.  I now believe that being at peace -- forgiving, but never forgetting is the surest way to peace, even if there is still some pain.  

This may all sound confusing, but I encourage you to think of an experience or person that has brought you pain.  Then think of forgiveness, as well as the power to totally forget it ever happened.  I think sometimes forgiving and forgetting is the easy answer to finding happiness.  The path to learning and true peace, though, can come from forgiveness, while holding onto the memory. 

                                                                        Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

12-6-2019

Mary’s Minute

"All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school."

~ Robert Fulghum

Many of you know, I started my career as a kindergarten teacher and spent several years also teaching preschool. In fact, there are a few teachers at PC who were in my kindergarten or preschool classes. In my mind I go back often to my time with young children, recognizing how much we can learn from our youngest students. Robert Fulghum wrote a cute piece about this idea. Some of the things Fulghum suggests we can learn from kindergarten include: “Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.”

There is an innocence that young children have that we all wish we could hold. Young children find joy in the smallest things and have a natural sense of curiosity that leads them to constant learning. Children skip! Think about this — how often do we as adults have so much physical joy that it comes out as skipping? Young children smile, laugh, and hug freely. Young children dance when they hear music, giggle uncontrollably, and notice small changes.

We know that smiling and laughing are important for mental health. We know that to be physically healthy movement can be a game changer. We use the term “childish” as a negative adjective, but in reality being child-like is what we all should hope to be. Whatever we call it, the older I get the more I realize the importance of emulating children in their joy for life and constant curiosity! And... skipping! Don’t forget to skip!

Have a great week!

Mary

11-22-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

                                                                                ~ William Arthur Ward

What if there was a magic pill that could make every day feel like Thanksgiving, our jobs always make us happy, and turn ordinary things into extraordinary?  Like every diet pill I have ever tried, it sounds too good to be true, but gratitude is that silver bullet.  

Committing ourselves to a life filled with gratitude is truly a way to a happier life.  Research shows that we cannot process negativity and gratitude at the same time in our brain, so if we are actively practicing gratitude, we cannot be negative.  Research also shows that people who express their gratitude to others are happier – and not just in the moment, but the happiness lingers for days.

As we approach Thanksgiving – a holiday that many of us say is our favorite – our hearts are focused on gratitude.  I think that what most of us like about Thanksgiving is the simplicity of the holiday.  The focus is on family, food, and gratitude.  So what if our goal was to keep life that simple – to focus on gratitude (and of course family and good food!)?

Making every day Thanksgiving, sans the turkey, is a way to live happier lives.  We truly can transform our lives through the simple act of gratitude!  By the way, I am grateful for all of you!

                                                            Happy Thanksgiving Week!

                                                                        Mary

11-15-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Remember, teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability." --Patrick Lencioni

I do not take it for granted that I have been part of an incredible team at Perry Central over the years.  And when I say team, I really mean multiple teams.  I feel like I am part of the overall Perry Central team that encompasses the entire school community working together for our students.  I am proud to be part of the team with our supportive school board. 

The team I probably work most closely is our administrative team.  We solve problems together, we laugh together, we work hard together, and we make mistakes together.  I think part of being a team member is always assuming that your partners have the best intentions.  Today one of the administrators said, “I hope I didn’t step on your toes.”  I replied, “When we are all dancing the same dance, we can’t step on each other’s toes.” When we work with the same goal in mind, come at situations with the same set of values, and trust each other, we don’t get upset with each other when mistakes are made.  

I believe that part of a winning team is believing that every member is doing his/her best and has good intentions!  I make mistakes often, but my hope is that my team members know that I mean well, and in my heart I am doing my best, so they can trust me.  Great team members trust each other.  I am proud to be part of a trusting PC team, dancing the same dance!

                                                                        Have a great week!

                                                                                                Mary       

11-8-2019

Mary’s Minute

“A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots.”                                                           

~ Marcus Garvey

I just returned from the annual meeting of the Southern Indiana Superintendents Club, a group that was founded in 1894.  Each year when I hear the history, I feel a deep connection to club members who came before me and gratitude to be part of the tradition. 

We all have groups to whom we feel connected.  Families, faith communities, sororities or fraternities, clubs, and universities are just a few of the groups that may stir a feeling of connection to the past and a pride in the future.  In fact, when we think about it we share a connection with all humans who came before us and those who will come after us.  It is an exciting and humbling feeling.

I have said before that I feel a keen sense of responsibility to the people at Perry Central who came before me.  I feel a need to work hard to keep the traditions of excellence alive, and I have a sense of obligation to the future, as well. 

The Southern Indiana Superintendents Club has met every year since it was founded in 1894, except for 1914 because of a flu epidemic and two years during World War II.  The group is dedicated to upholding high ideals of public education and committed to preserving the rich history.  I am proud to be part of the group because of the current members, but I am equally honored to share a connection with the past and to know that someday I will be part of the root system for those who carry on the tradition in years to come.

                                               

                                                                        Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

11-1-2019

Mary’s Minute

“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”

                                                ~ John Green from A Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars is Zoe’s favorite book of all time.  It helped her through a tough time when she was diagnosed with lupus, which in many ways was a type of grief as she mourned the loss of a normal healthy life.  Lupus did not change Zoe, it exposed who she was.  

As I read this quote, I thought about the word “grief” and how other words could be substituted for it – both positive and negative.  Read the quote above, substituting any of the following words for grief:  hardship, illness, a joyful occasion, a new career, natural disaster, retirement, a tough class, a windfall, and the list goes on.  When things happen in our lives, we experience change, but the experience itself does not change us.  The experience reveals who we are at the core.  It points out whether we choose to embrace the new experience or fight it, whether we see the good or complain about the challenges, whether we make excuses or think of creative strategies. 

As we experience the ebb and flow of life – the changes both good and bad – we must remember that we are not changed, but exposed.  Whatever changes we are facing, we are showing who we really are in the way that we handle the change.

                                                                       Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary