7-31-2020

Mary’s Minute

“For all of its uncertainty, we cannot flee the future.”

                                                                        ~ Barbara Jordan

 

Living in the present is important to reducing stress in our lives, and now that seems truer than ever.  I think the hardest part about our present situation is that we cannot predict the future. 

 

Parents of teenagers might be able to relate to this story.  My kids are now 19, 21, and 31, and I think they are all pretty thoughtful and mature, but I have had moments when I thought, “Oh my gosh, is this the way it is going to be… forever?”  We all have bad days, but when my teenagers had bad days and were moody and/or sassy, I was afraid that I had lost them!  Those moments truly were just moments, and quickly passed.

 

When we have the worst hurricane or wild fire season on record, we are left wondering if this is a once in a century phenomenon or if our climate is changing and this is the new norm.

 

As we deal with the COVID-19 pandemic, we can look back at the Spanish Flu pandemic and rest easy, knowing this too shall pass, and that this is once-in-a-century event.  Or we can panic thinking it is the beginning of a pattern of viral invasions!

 

When we feel sick, we typically think that we just have a bug, and we will feel better the next day.  Then there are the moments where we feel ill, and nearly panic thinking that this is the first step of declining health. 

 

Patterns are powerful in that they can help predict the future, but patterns for all their power are unpredictable. I won’t talk mathematics because I will fail miserably.  Instead, I will just urge us all to do our best to not fear the future, despite its uncertainty.  From my personal experience, the future is not nearly as scary as fear it might be! 

 

                                                            Stay positive!

                                                                        Mary

7-24-2020

Mary’s Minute

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

                                                                                         Dalai Lama

Sometimes I think it is just a “Mom thing,” but I am pretty sure it is more than that.  Making other people happy, makes us happy.  As parents, we practice compassion for our children and in doing so we make them happy, but nothing makes us happier than to see our children happy.

It goes far beyond parenting; it is about being human.  On the surface being good to others – being compassionate -- sounds like work we do FOR others.  The best way to be truly happy is to practice compassion.  It is such a neat thing.  That we can be happy by making others happy.  It is a simple equation that seems so elusive. 

People spend their lives searching for true happiness, when in reality it is always right in front of us.  Happiness comes from serving others. 

This is an incredibly difficult time for teachers, but their joy comes from the compassion they show to their students. 

As tough as times are it is pretty cool to know that the same thing that makes others happy, brings us happiness – showing compassion.

                                                                  Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

7-17-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots.”

                              ~ Victor Hugo

When I was very young I remember the nickname given to a politician – I think he was a Congressman from Lake County, Indiana, which is where I lived growing up.  I don’t recall his last name, but I remember his nickname:  Flip Flop Floyd.  His critics suggested that he frequently changed his mind or his vote. 

Integrity is certainly one thing, but changing our mind is something different.  If we make a commitment to behave in a certain way that is one thing, but I am talking about changing our opinion.  If we are constantly examining new data and thinking, it only makes sense that we would change our minds or our opinions.  That is the nature of human growth.  It is how we improve ourselves and our society. 

I think about the mask debate.  Early in the pandemic, “experts” were advising us that masks were not necessary, but with more data and thought, the opinion changed.  As Hugo suggests, the scientist held true to their principles, but they changed their opinion, which is not only acceptable, but encouraged.  We could remain stuck in old facts that were later proven wrong, or we can embrace change of thought and improve.

We need to keep our minds open to change, while holding true to our core values. 

I honestly do not know if Floyd was a man of value, but looking back I have to wonder if he was mislabeled.  Did he change his values or just gain knowledge that allowed him to change his mind?  All I know is that my goal is to stay true to my values, but constantly be willing to change my opinion!

                              Have a great week!

                                    Mary

7-10-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was sitting at my desk after what felt like a pretty tough day, when Tommy, our custodian supervisor, stopped at my door and said, “Are you okay?”  He wasn’t just meaning in the moment, although I suspect I looked pretty frazzled, he meant it as an offer to help, an offer of encouragement.  It was encouragement that inspired me, although in the moment I nearly just broke down in tears from the shear act of kindness and relief it brought. 

In a similar way, I was inspired by our bus drivers, who while facing a tremendous challenge of transporting students under restrictions created by COVID, encouraged me and offered to help in any way they could. I am inspired by the kind parents and teachers who have encouraged me.

Ralph Waldo Emerson sums it up – we need to be inspired to be who we know we can be.  We all have moments when we are feeling less than inspired, but encouragement from others takes us to the next level where we feel we can do more and be more – to the level of being what we know we can be!

I am so incredibly grateful for the people who lift me up through kindness and encouragement, and their kindness inspires me to be a source of love and light for others.

Thank you for the inspiration!

                                                                                                Mary

7-3-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.”

~ C. S. Lewis

In today’s world of social media, it is fairly easy to do good things for an audience, but true integrity comes from doing something good when no one is watching.  Sometimes letting others know that we understand what is right and just is an important powerful message to share, but when we can do the right thing when no one is looking, our intent can never be questioned.  Showing others that we are caring people is a way to set a positive example and spread positivity, but I am most humbled by those who do acts of kindness that may never be recognized. 

Almost twenty-five years ago, my mother siblings, mother and I sat around my mom’s kitchen table recapping one of the most moving days of our lives: my dad’s funeral.  We all had noticed a person sitting in the back pew of church and were asking if anyone knew who he was.  He was a young man, who was nicely dressed, but had that look that made you know that dressing up was not in his comfort zone. 

We all knew that my dad frequently helped those less fortunate.  He was an elementary principal when I was young, and I remember him bringing children home to stay with us – yes, I know these were different times.  He helped people in non-traditional ways, seeing the best in those who were struggling. 

None of us knew the young man, sitting in the back row at my dad’s funeral, but we concluded it was someone who was touched by my dad’s kindness enough that he left his comfort zone by sitting through a Catholic funeral to say his good byes.  It is an image I like to recall as a reminder to do the right thing even if it may never be recognized.  

                                                                                Have a great week!

                                                                                                Mary