12-18-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

“A tradition is kept alive by something being added to it.”  

                                                            ~ Henry James

With the holidays approaching in the midst of a pandemic, families are being forced to rethink their traditions and make sacrifices in the name of safety.

My kids and I have developed some traditions over the years that have to be adjusted this year.  For instance, on Christmas Eve we usually visit the local nursing home to deliver cards or gifts and then we go to eat at a Mexican restaurant.  We can’t do that this year, so we have shifted our plan to spend time together as a family making cards for the nursing home that we will drop off and then we will eat carryout Mexican food at home.

I have talked to a lot of people over the last few weeks who are amending their family traditions in some really neat ways in order to celebrate the holidays safely.

Henry James suggests that traditions are kept alive by adding to them, but I am going to suggest that they are kept alive by making adjustments and thinking about what in the tradition makes it special.  What about the tradition really matters? 

I guess in the example of my kids, the part that is important is queso and kindness!  

Admittedly, the pandemic is forcing people to give up many things that are important, like being with family.  Still, my hope is that your holiday season can be filled with love and traditions old and new!

                                                                          Happiest of Holidays!

                                                                       Mary

12-11-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

“For it is in giving that we receive.”

                                                    ~ Francis of Assisi

As many of us are busy preparing for Christmas gift giving, I am inspired by St. Francis’ reminder of the joy of giving.  I know that St. Francis was not just talking about material gifts, but all of our gifts.  During this time of year I can’t help but draw the comparison of the joy we receive from both giving physical gifts and of giving of our own time and talent.

 

I admit that I love shopping for Christmas gifts.  It is so much more fun to give than to receive, and I am grateful for the wonderful feeling of giving.  Selfishly, I like to buy my kids what I like to give them and I get so excited thinking about them opening their gifts!

The joy of giving material gifts provides a metaphor for the feeling we can get in giving of ourselves.  For instance, when you need a reminder of why doing for others is important for us, remember the joy of a toddler on Christmas morning.  How can we not smile as the giver?

The greatest way to find happiness is to give, rather than to receive.  As Ben Sweetland said, 

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own.”  I love Christmas, and I hope that I can light a torch for others because I sure am grateful for my path being brightened by the joy of giving!

 

                                                                    Have a great week!

                                                                    Mary

12-4-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

“Each person does see the world in a different way. There is not a single, unifying, objective truth. We're all limited by our perspective.”

                                                                                                       ~ Siri Hustvedt

 

The pandemic has taught us many lessons, among them the value of perspective.  The pandemic can be compared to a tumultuous storm at sea, and sometimes we use the phrase, “we are all in the same boat,” but Rick Davis has rejected this analogy.  He maintains, and I agree, that although we are all in the same storm, we are all in different boats based on our unique circumstances and world views.  We all bring a different perspective to life and specific situations.  

Some of us are more affected by worries about our own health because of underlying conditions or concerns about family members.  Others come at the situation from a perspective of science and carefully review data daily.  We all see life from a different life views – some of us are quicker to worry, while others are more laid back. 

I think the key for us all to recognize that we all see the world differently, and there is not a right way to see it.  COVID has put that to the test, and it is important for us to be patient with different perspectives.  We can all agree that it is challenging for everyone, but not necessarily in the same ways. 

                                                                                   Hang in there!               

                                                                                                   Mary

11-20-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

“Gratitude is one of the strongest and most transformative states of being. It shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and allows you to focus on the good in your life, which in turn pulls more goodness into your reality.”

            ~ Jen Sincero

Gratitude is a gift, and for that and many reasons, we are all ready for Thanksgiving this year.  I think we can all admit that during the pandemic, we have all done our share of focusing on what is lacking.  Gratitude shifts our focus from what we don’t have and to what we do have.

Gratitude can be expressed through our words and actions, but most importantly, gratitude is something that happens within each of us.  It is a way of thinking.  It is starting and ending each day by thinking of things for which we are grateful.  It is seeing the good in ourselves and others. 

As we head into Thanksgiving week, in addition to delicious food and (socially distanced) time with family, I wish you the gift of gratitude!

                                                                Happy Thanksgiving week!                

                                                                                                Mary

11-13-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

How many times in the last eight months have we heard or said, “this challenging time”?  No matter how many times we have heard it, it still cannot be overstated, but this week I read an article that gave me a new perspective about why we are all hitting the wall right now. 

Fortunately, in the times of deep adversity, our minds and bodies get a surge of energy that allow us to push forward and make it through a trying time.  In the most immediate way, I think of it as adrenaline – like how a mother can lift a car off of her child in the moment of despair.  (Technically surge capacity is different than adrenaline, but the comparison helps me grasp the concept.)

Tara Haelle defines surge capacity, “as a collection of adaptive systems – mental and physical – that humans draw on for short-term survival in acutely stressful situations, such as natural disasters.”  Back in March, we recognized an emergency situation – the pandemic felt like a natural disaster as we all hunkered down and were glued to the Governor’s daily updates.  Sure, we didn’t like it, but our surge capacity allowed us to make the best of it. 

The problem is that after months of living with this unprecedented disaster of sorts, our surge capacity it depleted.  I think the word “exhausted” has overtaken “anxious” as a word used to describe more people’s feelings right now.

Tara Haelle offers great insight into this notion in the article, Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted – It’s Why You Feel Awful, which is linked here.  It reiterates the need for self-care.  We need to feel our feelings, find fulfilling activities, strengthen relationships, and focus on rebuilding activities, like sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation, and gratitude.

There is a reason you feel exhausted and depleted right now.  Be kind to yourself and others, recognizing the depletion of our surge capacity.  My hope is that you can find ways to rebuild the capacity within you as “this challenging time” continues.

                                                            Have a good week!

                                                                        Mary

11-6-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”

                                                                        ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

 “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”                                           ~ Buddha

Hope has been so important to us these last several months, knowing that the pandemic will pass, and tomorrow will be better.  I think one of the hardest parts for us right now is not knowing when or how it will get better!

On the other hand, we have the wise words of Buddha reminding us that all we ever really have is the present.  As tough as it is, the present is still a gift. 

I think hope can certainly help us get through these tough times – knowing that brighter days are ahead, but I also think we shouldn’t discount the beauty of what is.  Our present state may seem gloomy, but there is always beauty in the present.  Even in these troubling times the pages of our gratitude journals are full!  I am going to try to find beauty in all that is:  friends, family, and nature -- even the most minute details of nature, such as the fine lines in a blade of grass, the veins in a fallen leaf, or the different shades of blue in the sky.

Life is full of hope, but all we ever really have is the present.  My wish is that you can find joy in your present situation, while still holding on to hope of brighter days.

 

Have a great week!

                                                                                                Mary

 

 

Mary’s Minute

“The sun and moon shine on all without partiality.”

                                                                ~ Confucius

I was so grateful today for sunshine after several gloomy days - and now tonight to enjoy a beautiful full moon.  Sunshine is a blessing, and sunrises are gorgeous.  I admit, I get more excited about the moon and a beautiful moonrise.  Maybe because a full moon comes just once a month (or every Blue Moon, twice like this month) and we have the hope of sunshine every day.  Maybe because the sun is so bright it doesn’t appear to be special, but the moon seems to light up a dark sky 

Confucius reminds us that we are all living under the same sun and the same moon.    Through the last several months when we have felt some defeat, the sun has come up, and the moon has been there for us – for all of us.  Despite our differences, we all live under the same sun and moon. 

The sun and the moon are always there for all of us.  They are not always visible, but they are always there.  It is up to us to see them – to see the light, to see the hope and to remember that just as the sun and moon are impartial, we can be too. 

Go out and check out the beautiful moon, and this weekend enjoy the sunshine.  The moon and the sun are there for us to give us hope and for us to remember the light.  

                                                Have a great week!

                                                                 Mary

10-23-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

“Every new concept first comes to the mind in a judgment.”  ~ Charles Sanders Peirce

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”  ~ Socrates

 

Judgment is part of the learning process.  To create new ideas, we first need to analyze old ones.  At the same time, I am working to be slow to judge people.  I found these three quotes that when read together, perfectly reflect what I am trying to say. 

Judging is important, but what is equally important is that we judge (and discuss) ideas, not people.  When we can separate the two and pursue judgment of ideas, we can create a culture of learning that is also kind and compassionate. 

I want to try to be slow to judge people, always giving them the benefit of the doubt, in order to practice kindness.  I also want to focus more on judging ideas so that I can learn and grow.  This may be pretty simple, but for me it was somewhat revolutionary.  I was saying to myself, “Don’t judge.  Don’t judge.”  But then it occurred to me, if I am not judging/analyzing how can I learn?  It isn’t rocket science – judge ideas, not people. 

           

                                                            Have a great week!

                                                                        Mary

10-16-2020

Mary's Minute

"Grace will take you places hustling won't."

                                                        - Brené Brown

I have always believed in the power of hard work or "hustling," but this year more than ever I am seeing the power of also giving ourselves grace.  One definition of grace is, "courteous goodwill," and we certainly believe in giving others courteous goodwill, so why not give it to ourselves?  For instance, my goal is to write Mary's Minute on Fridays, but this week I decided to give myself the grace to wait until Saturday.

This has been a year like no other, and I think every one of us has our unique struggles.  Being understanding with ourselves is not a permission to make excuses, but simply treating ourselves with the same kindness we would show to others, recognizing that our feelings and confusion are real. 

In being kind to ourselves and others, I think we will see that we will go places that hard work alone cannot take us.  

The next time we are feeling overwhelmed, sad, confused, or even angry, let's try to remember how we would treat someone else with those emotions.  My guess is that we would want to treat them with courteous goodwill, so please give yourself the grace also!

                                                                        Have a good week!

                                                                                    Mary

10-9-2020

 

Mary’s Minute“Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.”

                                                                      ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Critical feedback is an important part of growth.  We learn from our mistakes.  Assessment is important part of the learning process, as teachers provide feedback to help students learn and grow.  Correction does much…

But encouragement does more.  At the beginning of the school year, I asked staff members what they needed from me.  Many said, encouragement. 

Although we strive for internal motivation that helps us depend less on positive reinforcement from others, at the very least we all appreciate praise/reinforcement/encouragement. 

I am grateful for the encouragement I get from others, and I am motivated to do better. 

I see more than ever that people are struggling right now.  I want to encourage my friends and family – and even those outside my immediate circle.  What people are doing right now to not only survive, but thrive, is nothing short of amazing. 

 My goal is to see all the good in others and remember to tell them! 

                                                            Have a great fall break!

                                                                                     Mary

 

10-2-2020

 

Mary’s Minute“Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.”

                                                  ~ Edwin Markham

I feel like in many ways we have been in limbo for the last 6 months since the pandemic started.  It doesn’t feel like we are choosing much of anything, but rather just “being.”  It feels at times that we are just holding on and not choosing. 

 What we need to remember is that by not choosing, we are still choosing.  Doing nothing is a passive choice.  I am not an economics theory expert, so my oldest son might correct me on this, but I think there is a parallel between making no choice and opportunity cost.  By not choosing, what are we losing?

 Life is full of choices – active and passive.  We need to choose wisely, and also remember that things we do and things we don’t do are choices.

 This continues to be a challenging time, and I am amazed at the positivity I see every day!  I want to remember that I need to make active choices, and not just passively let the world make choices for me because no choice is a choice. 

                                                    Have a great week!

                                                                      Mary

9-24-2020

 

Mary’s Minute“Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.”

                                                                                  ~ Robert Ludlum

I recently listened to an interview with an NYC teacher talking about schools reopening.  The word that kept coming up over and over was anxiety.  I think teachers, and in fact nearly everyone going through this pandemic, can relate to feeling anxious through this uncertain time. 

I see the remedy for the anxiety we are feeling as hope.  Hope allows us to trust that things will be okay, that there will be answers for unanswered questions, and that we will regain many of the things in life that we feel we have lost.  The truth is that plans are really only our preferences, and this pandemic has shown us just that.  The pandemic has made planning difficult, but when we think hopefully, planning is possible.

We need to remember that hope is stronger than fear.  The fear that people have experienced and are experiencing is very real, but hope is stronger.– English proverb

                                                           With hope,

Mary

9-18-2020

Mary’s Minute

"The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried. Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying."

                                                                  - Roy T. Bennett

We all have times when we don’t feel like we are on top of our game – well, I guess I shouldn’t speak for all of you, but I sure do.  What if when we fall we didn’t see it as failure, but as a win because we tried? 

I am trying not to dwell on the funk that the pandemic has created, but the truth is that it continues to be a challenging time. For me the surest way to see the positive within the negative, is to remember that in trying and getting back up, we become stronger.  The fact that life gives us challenges and opportunities to fail is something to celebrate because we have chances to learn and grow through our mishaps.   

In this way we can celebrate 2020 because it has given us plenty of opportunities to grow!  And so, we should celebrate falling because in falling we can get back up!

                                                                            Have a great week!

                                                                                               Mary

9-11-2020

Mary’s Minute

“Flexibility is the key to stability.”

~ John Wooden

This quote reminds me of the paradoxical idea that the only real constant is change.  John Wooden was likely talking about basketball, but he could have been talking about a pandemic.  The only way that we can maintain any sense of stability in our work or personal lives during this crazy is to be flexible. 

For instance, the guidance that we receive from the health department literally changes weekly.  If we are not flexible, our plans would quickly fall apart.

The same is true in our personal lives.  The pandemic has changed the way we do things.  For some people, it has created major challenges, and for some of us it has just knocked us out of our routines and filled us with anxiety because of the uncertainty of the future.  When will we be able to travel regularly?  Will we be able to continue school in person?  How long will we be wearing masks?  Will someone in our family become ill?  The only way that we can feel at all grounded in this period of uncertainty is to embrace flexibility, remembering that the path to stability is flexibility. 

I wish you well!

                                                                                                Mary

9-4-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.”

                                                ~ Heraclitus

 

We all have unique backgrounds and experiences, so when are exposed to something we each see it through our own unique lens.  Scientists work hard to create experiments that are neutral, so that outcomes can be controlled, but in real life, there is no neutrality. 

For instance, we did a survey for staff because it is important to know how people are feeling and to gain insight about how we can improve.  People in the same buildings, who theoretically had the exact same experience and access to information, saw things drastically differently.  Fortunately, more people viewed them in positive way than negative, but the negative responses are equally important.  All insight is important because ultimately reality for an individual is their personal perception. 

The same is true for teaching.  A teacher can present material (“teach”), but the ultimate experience that each student receives (the “learning”), can be very different among students. 

I want to constantly be aware that I cannot assume that everyone sees the world the same way I do or has the same experiences that I do.  To be a better communicator, I need to remember that the river and the person stepping into it are never the same.

                                                Have a great long weekend!

                                                                             Mary

8-28-2020

 

Mary’s Minute

"Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them."   

--Marcus Aurelius   

During the first week of school a teacher said to me that she had forgotten how good it would be to see the kids.  Getting ready to reopen school, dealing with the stress of the pandemic, and feeling the anxiety of uncertainty was consuming. 

In life it is easy to focus on the challenges, but this teacher reminded me of something so important.  When we dwell in the positive of life, the negative doesn’t seem so overwhelming. 

In education, the positive part of our job is working with children!

To focus on the positive instead of the negative should be easy, but we all know it isn’t.  There is so much more good than bad in the world – even during a pandemic.

Sadly, we may get 50 words of praise, but we focus on the one word of criticism.  We need to focus on the positive!  We need to focus on the stars and run to them!

Have a great week!

                                                                        Mary