1-28-2022

 

Mary’s Minute

I am a big fan of romantic comedies.  I love a light-hearted movie that makes me laugh and has a happy ending.  I not only love happy endings, but I also am enough of an optimistic that I believe in happy endings!  Dramas take too much energy for me, and I despise horror movies.

I realized that life is not always tied up with a pretty bow at the end of a set amount of time, like rom-coms.  I do believe that when we see the good in what we do and in others, that things work out. 

The fictional philosopher Ted Lasso said that rom-coms remind us that it will work out.  It may not be the way we wanted it to work out or occur in the way that we thought it would work out, but it will work out.  Our job is to let it go!

I know that I can’t totally treat my life with the carefree spirit that is allowable in a 1 hour and 50 minute fictional love story interspersed with some laughs.  I still need to plan.  I need to put in the work.  I need to spend time thinking about hard topics and devote my energy to being productive. 

I do love treating life -- at least my philosophy of life -- like that of a romantic comedy, where I believe that good things will happen, and that laughing is good for the soul.

We all have our favorite movie genre, but if you want to choose a philosophy from a movie type, I encourage you to choose to see the good, choose to laugh, and choose to let it go, with a good rom-com! 

                                                                    Have a great week!

                                                                                                 Mary

1-21-2022

 

Mary’s Minute

 “Recognition is a reward in itself. Any form of appreciation, even a small word, is important.”

                                                                                                      ~ Vikrant Massey

Last week to start the weekend, I received an unexpected text from a teacher, expressing appreciation.  It meant a lot – it really meant a lot.  (I won’t say the name of who texted me, but I hope the person reads this!)

When you ask employees what they crave, they almost always list being appreciated at the top of the list. 

We all like to be tough at times and say that it doesn’t matter what other people think, or being truly altruistic, we may say that we do what we do for the right reasons and not for the recognition.  Still, we all like to be appreciated. 

As employers, as friends, as teachers, as family members, showing appreciation is an easy way to make others more satisfied.  Speaking from personal experience, I know it should be easy to do because in my heart I have tremendous gratitude, but I don’t do the job I should in expressing that appreciation.  Life goals!  I want to write more notes, send more texts, say more kind words of appreciation. 

Showing appreciation is indeed important!  I want to do better in letting the people in my work and personal life know that they are indeed appreciated.  If you are reading this, please know you are appreciated!  (Honestly, just you taking time to read MM is so appreciated and humbling.)

                                                                              Have a great week!

                                                                                          Mary

1-14-2022

Mary’s Minute

Fill in the blank:  Life is too short to __________________

Be unhappy, hold grudges, sleep on a bad mattress, sweat the small stuff, be miserable, not eat cake, and the list of serious and silly goes on and on.

Thinking about the brevity of life can feel depressing, but it also motivating and invigorating.  If you think analytically, you probably occasionally do the math based on longevity statistics and think that each day or year represents x% of your life remaining.  The reality is that there are many variables, even the keenest mathematician cannot fill in. 

Ultimately, whether life is cut way too short with the heart-wrenching death of a young person or a person has the honor of living into a second century, life is short. 

All we have is each day to live our best life, fulfilling whatever our personal purpose of life may be – to be happy, to make the world a better place, to help others, to leave a legacy, to have a good time. 

Every day counts.  Every day we have a chance to fulfill our purpose – being happy, helping others, leaving things a little better than we found them.  It is a big responsibility, but also a bit liberating in that we have the chance to fulfill this great opportunity.  Because of life’s briefness, even the smallest things matter.  Waiting a single day to fulfill your purpose is a very long time.

                                                                     Have a great week!

                                                                                     Mary

1-7-2022

Mary’s Minute

“Every problem has a solution; it may sometimes just need another perspective.” 

― Katherine Russell

I pride myself in being a problem solver.  We all have problems and use different strategies to solve them.  I am drawing blank about a solution for my challenge du jour, so I decided to focus first on problem solving methods that are helpful to me:

Flux capacitor – In the movie Back to the Future, Doc came up with the idea of the flux capacitor after hitting his head.  It was an “aha” moment.  Sometimes the solution just comes to us.

Synergy – Two (or more) heads are better than one.  As we bounce ideas off of each other, new ideas emerge.

Forest for the Trees – Sometimes we need to take a step back to look at the big picture in order to see a solution.

Trees for the Forest – Other times we need to dig deeper and look closely at the situation, looking very closely at the data for a solution.

Sleep on it – I have been amazed at the times that an answer comes to me in my sleep or at least after I have stepped away from a problem.

I hope this doesn’t sound like a lecture on problem solving methodologies.  I appreciate the chance to step back and think about how an answer is possible.  For now, I definitely am choosing the last approach!

                                                                         Have a great week!

                                                                                    Mary

12-17-2021

 

Mary’s Minute

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”

~ Mother Teresa

Whether we are talking about international politics, getting along with neighbors, or interacting with strangers on the street, Mother Teresa’s words hold special meaning.  Spreading love makes the world a better place!

I was recently standing in a very long line to check out, with only one register open.  Several people around were voicing extreme displeasure, while most of us grumbled more quietly.  At that moment, I had a little wake up call, and started saying to myself, “Be love; spread love.”  It took several deep breaths and repetitions of the mantra to shake my frustrations out.  By the time I got to the register, my goal was to do everything I could to make the cashier feel appreciated and hopefully a little happier.  It seemed to work.  She seemed grateful to be appreciated, and smiled as if she felt happier.  Incidentally, I walked out feeling happier too!

I like to think of Christmas as a holiday of love. I don’t want to denounce nor support the Christian aspect of the holiday, but I choose to think of it as a time to be love and spread love, regardless of religion or beliefs. 

Through the holiday season, during times of frustration and times of joy, a lofty goal can be to leave others happier by spreading love.  When we hear a carol, see sparkling lights, smell gingerbread, or even feel crisp winter air, there is love. 

The holiday season is filled with examples of people spreading love and leaving those around them feeling happier.  It is the most philanthropic time of the year.  It is a time of year for singing and playing games.  It is a time of year to unplug and be with family.  It is a time of year of love!  Be love; spread love, and in doing so you will leave those around you happier. 

                                                             Happy Holidays!

                                                                        Mary

12-10-2021

 

Mary’s Minute

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

                                                                                                   ~ Buddha      

Have you ever lay in bed not able to fall asleep?  I think most of us have, and I when I find myself sleepless I have much running through my mind.  I sometimes think about the past and often planning the future – critique conversations I have had,  reflect on the past, think ahead to all the things I have to do, ponder problems I have to solve, and even worthlessly worry about what lies ahead.  In the times I find myself battling insomnia, I am not in the present.

 To be in the present is to be at peace, to be in the flow, to be one with the moment. 

I am not good at being in the moment.  I am constantly either replaying the past or thinking about what I have to do in the future.  It is a skill that I want to continue to work on because I know that when I can be in the present I can be a better listener, friend, and leader.  I also know that being in the moment is key to happiness.

During the holiday season, most of us have a long to-do list, so while we are doing one thing we are thinking ahead to all the other things we have to do.  All the while around us holiday carols play, children laugh, and fun abounds, which I think sometimes I miss.

Too often I am worrying about my next move instead of savoring the moment.  This weekend I am excited to travel with my mom to watch my sweet and talented niece, Ellie, perform as Clara in the Nutcracker Ballet.  My goal from the airport, the family conversations, and as a proud member in the audience, is to be in the moment – to be present.  I am going to strive not think about all that needs to be done between now and Christmas or to be reflective of the past, but to simply “be”.  Wish me luck, and I wish the same for you this holiday season!

                                                                                     Have a great week!

                                                                                                            Mary

 

12-3-2021

 

Mary’s Minute

"Enjoy the pressure.  Enjoy the stress.  Enjoy being uncomfortable. And don't shy away from it.  Embrace it."                                                                    ~ Gary Woodland 

December is here, which means the joyous holiday season is upon us. 

For many of us, with the joy of the season also comes the stress of the season.  Stress comes in three forms:  positive stress, tolerable stress, and toxic stress.  Positive stress allows us to rise to challenges and experience things that are new and novel.  It is the kind of stress that the quote above describes. 

The main difference between tolerable and toxic stress is how we handle it.  Our emotions provide data for us to help us determine how we can handle our stress.  Once we name it, we can do a better job of addressing our own stress. 

There is much we can do to address our stress, but in a minute, I suggest we practice compassion for ourselves, as well as remembering the number one resiliency factor of positive relationships. 

During the holidays, we focus on how we can do for others, but we need to remember compassion for ourselves and the importance and beauty of positive relationships.

My wish for you is that your negative stress this holiday season can be lessened and that you can embrace the positive stress in order to find joy in the season!

                                                                  Have a great week!

                                                                                        Mary