5-20-2022

 

Mary’s Minute

 

“Accepting help is its own kind of strength.”

                                                                           ~ Kiera Cass

I think many people can relate to how difficult it can be to ask for/accept help.  We love to help others, and we even recognize the joy we experience by giving of ourselves to others.  Reciprocating by allowing others to help us, is not as easy.

I remember when my son, Bill, was a strong-willed toddler, I would often say to him, “Part of being independent was knowing when to ask for help.”  I need to remember my own words, and not see accepting the kindness of others as a sign of weakness.

Part of being independent is knowing when we need to depend on others.  We are social beings – and we need each other.  It is not only okay, but a form of giving.

By graciously accepting help from others, we allow them to feel the same joy we receive from giving of ourselves.  It just doesn’t sound right, though!  “I’m going to ‘let you’ help me so you can feel good about yourself – go ahead and knock yourself out, and then you can thank me for giving you the joy of doing a good deed for me!”  I know that is extreme, but it still just doesn’t seem right to me. 

Not long ago, when I reluctantly asked my kids for help, my oldest son, Jess, said, “Mom, you help us all the time, so let us get joy from helping you.”  My sarcastic thought came to my mind, but I am going to work on accepting it with grace and gratitude. 

                                                                         Have a great week!

                                                                                 Mary

 

5-13-2022

 

Mary’s Minute

"I wasn't just going to walk, I was going to run. And then, once I stopped running, I was going to dance."                                                                           – Robert Battle

One of my favorite stories as an elementary teacher involved conversation I overheard of a kindergarten boy who was moving quickly down a hallway, only to be stopped by a concerned teacher.  The teacher said, “No running in the hallway,” to which the tot responded without missing a beat, “I’m not running; I’m skipping.”  As I reflect, I am lumping dancing and skipping into the same category.  To me they are both ways to move that are more fun than walking or running.

As I get closer to a transition to winding down my career as a school superintendent, I was drawn to this quote about dancing.  Metaphorically speaking, first we walk through childhood, then we run through adulthood, and finally we figure out that we should dance!  I like to think of dance both literally and metaphorically as a great way to live!

Last week my sister and I had the privilege of vacationing with our mom and her husband.  On the last night of the trip, we were sitting on the deck overlooking the ocean and decided to crank up some dance tunes.  We all ended up dancing awkwardly (well, at least me) as the waves crashed in the background.  It felt good physically and emotionally, and it also was a great way to feel connected. 

Back to the notion of going from walking to running to dancing.  I’m ready to focus more on the journey, then the destination.  Walking and running focus on getting somewhere, but maybe we should just dance and enjoy the process! 

I hope you dance!  Have a great week!  ~ Mary

 

5-6-2022

 

Mary’s Minute

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

                                       ~ Mahatma Gandhi

So much in life is about balance.  I for one, vacillate constantly.  For instance, one day, I worry about saving money for the future and the next, I think, “Life is short, so spend!”  Gandhi has it right in that we need to live with an attitude of virtue that we could die tomorrow and feel we have lived a good life, while at the same time, learning/planning for a long a bright future. 

The balance is not easy, but it is possible especially when we find work that brings us joy while contributing to making the world a better place.  Finding joy while serving others is truly a way to live a life of balance that Gandhi suggests.  Educators have a special opportunity to find that balance!

I recently talked to a researcher working with at-risk youth.  One of his current projects has high school students engaged in writing prompts that help them learn about their core values and then live by them.  At-risk youth who live a life that aligns to their values are more successful (more likely to graduate from high school, get good grades, go to college, etc.) than their peers who did not stay true to their values. 

Living our best lives is about believing in something and staying true to it!

            Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!

                                                                        Mary

4-29-2022

 

Mary’s Minute

“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.”

                                                                                     ~ Jeremy Irons

 My bet is that if you take 30 seconds and think back to a memory good or bad – you won’t be able to not laugh out loud, smile big, or even cry (happy or sad tears).  Just writing this has evoked smiles, laughs and tears for me. 

The reality is that our mind has, shall we say, a mind of its own!  In other words, we can’t totally control what will stick.  When I think back 50 plus years, I remember odd moments in my childhood.  When I was three I fell off a ladder in the woods and cut my head.  I still remember seeing the hard ground as I fell and a big boy carrying me home.  I just mostly have moments from my first ten years of life, but one thing that I do have is what Maya Angelou reminds us of – we don’t remember what was said or done, but we remember what we felt.  I remember feelings so much more than details.  I remember feeling safe and happy.  (I know I am lucky!) 

I do appreciate the time machine in my head, and I will continue to use it to “go back” to great times with my family, work families, and friends.   

What I think I have learned is that no matter how hard we try, we can’t control what memories will stick, but we can do all we can to embrace the moments and create feelings that can’t be forgotten.  We can do this for ourselves and for those around us – like our students.  Memories fade, but feelings are forever!  I am thankful for the memories and the feelings they evoke.

I also think that what makes memories even sweeter is the opposite dial on the time machine – the ability to dream.  We can’t go back in time, but we can dream of a wonderful future.

 

Have a great week!             

Mary

 

4-22-2022

 

Mary’s Minute

What do you want to be when you grow up?

This question often posed to children as early as kindergarten seems simplistic, but I am beginning to really love the question.    I like to think of the it not as one directed at an occupation, but more about who we want to BE as people.  I like to think of responses that are actions and not nouns. 

Think of “be” as all of the actions to which we aspire, and think of “grow” as the notion that no matter how old we are, we are always growing.  In the past few years, even as I near retirement, I have said that I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  Although I may not have another career, as long as I am living, I am growing and seeking to figure out what I who I can be as a person.  

I want to be kind, contributing, adventurous, curious, and brave.  Every day I still am trying to figure out what I want to be and then how to reach that ever-moving pinnacle.  I recognize in experiences that there are actions by people that make me think – I want to be more like that.  I see people exhibiting selfless acts, and think to myself, that is what I want to be.  I see people engaged in intriguing conversations about ideas, and I think that is what I want to be. 

Each day greets me with a new opportunity to embrace the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  The exciting part is that every day, we have the chance to keep growing and striving to BE all we want to BE!

Have a great week!             

 

Mary

 

4-18-2022

 

Mary’s Minute

“Say yes, and you’ll figure it out afterwards.”

                                                                        ~ Tina Fey

Almost 20 years ago, I was a 38-year-old elementary assistant principal, when a group of school board members asked me if I could be a superintendent.  Like Tina Fey suggested, I said yes and have done my best to figure it out along the way!  I recently talked to a very successful person, who credited her success in her career to saying, “yes.”  For me, saying yes has made all the difference.

I know that in self-care, we talk a lot about the importance to saying no in order to protect ourselves from putting undue stress on ourselves.  I think we need to not underestimate the power of yes, along the way.    Saying yes opens up an array of opportunities and adventures that we may miss by saying no.

On the Netflix series, Grace and Frankie, free spirit Frankie loves the idea of a “yes night.” Although I have never tried this exact idea, the notion of saying yes sure resonates with me. 

Of course, I am not proposing that you allow yourself to be taken advantage of, but I am proposing that you think of “yes” as “Why not try.”

The reality is that when I said yes to being a superintendent, that was not my first yes.  I had said “yes” many times along the way that put me in a position to be asked that question.  Now after a 20-year career as a superintendent, I am thankful that I said yes, and my goal is to continue to say “yes” to a full life!

 

Have a great week!                                                                 Mary

4-1-2022

 

Mary's Minute

“He who sleeps in continual noise is wakened by silence.”

                                                                 ~ William Dean Howells

 

We are surrounded with so many background noises that sometimes silence takes us by surprise – a pleasant surprise for sure.  For instance, we all know the feeling of sitting in a room when suddenly the furnace fan kicks off, creating sudden calm that we didn’t even know we so desperately needed.  A similar feeling occurs when a door is closed, blocking out hallway conversations and footsteps.  We become so accustomed to the constant hum of background noise that we do not realize how deafening it is, until it stops. 

We live in a noisy world – I mean that both figuratively and literally.  On the street, we hear horns honking, untamed mufflers, squelching tires, blaring radios, and motors revving.  Even our homes are full of hums from appliances and HVAC.    Life is full of “noise” that we do not even know is there until we step away from it. 

The same is true of the metaphorical noise that surrounds us.  The “noise” of stress of our long to-do lists and constant decision making is so continuous that we do not even realize the weight it bears until we are freed from it.  My wish for you is that you can step away from the constant humming noise that has grown ever louder, but you don’t even “hear” it because you have become so accustomed to it.  It is only when you flip the switch off that you will feel the relief of “silence”. 

                                                                     Hears to finding your escape from noise!  

                                                                                    Mary